Saturday, June 18, 2005

I AM BACK ! Recovering from a Broken Heart !

Ahhh ! It's good to be back again. Just would like to apologize to myself. I haven't had the mood to blog here for almost a month. Why? Because I had my heart broken. That's why.

I mean, here I am, doing everything that I can for the girl whom I thought I liked but in return, I do not get the minimum required level of caring and support.

I keep telling myself to forgive her. She is young, she has not learnt to appreciate the things that I have done for her. But the HEART is WEAK. I cannot bring myself to forgive her. In fact, I don't even feel like seeing her again.

I shall not go into details about the things that I've done for her but suffice to say that I suppressed my intense dislike for certain types of activites and organizations just to be with her. Just to get to know her better.

Yeah, yeah. She is pretty & fun, she is sweet & lively, in fact she's as lively as a monkey. She is a capable young lady too but I think at this moment, it's all about herself. It's just about her, her and only her.

Well, my friend, you have failed in my eyes. I am not forcing you to love me. That, I know takes time. But after all that I've done, you could not even give me the minimum required level of caring as a friend or as a human being. Then, you have failed big time. For example, sending me an SMS acknowledging me. Why do I always have to be the one to make the first move. After 3 months of that, I have to say, I am tired and exhausted.

Well, I joined a certain organization (not mind you The Yakuza or anything like that) because of her and I refuse to have much of anything to do with the organization anymore because of her. I, the only person, willing to follow her, feels abandoned, neglected, sidelined and uncared for.

I would have given you the world had you just provided me with that minimum level of caring. But no. And she even failed to keep the SMALLEST of PROMISES. I had kept all my promises to her until then. In fact, I even had to break a promise with another good friend in order to fulfill my PROMISE to HER. Now my good friend is not talking to me anymore. All for someone, who didn't even care enough to keep the littlest of promises.

Compared to her, the new friends that I've made on ICQ is miles better. I can feel even more than the required level of caring as human beings and friends from them. They SMS me in the morning to show that they care. Without me soliciting any responses of caring from them. While you, only did that something extra when you noticed that I wasn't communicating with you anymore. After so many days, you finally picked up the cue that something was wrong.

Well, enough is enough. In fact I have to thank you for this past 3 1/2 weeks of broken heart. I have never been meditating on my future more. In fact, the changes have been so drastic, I have just resigned from my company and considering embarking on an ambitious project towards financial independence.

Thank you for forcing me to think and evaluate where I am and where I want to be. I have finally found myself again.

Thank you my dear (I shall still call you that - if only in irony). You have played a big part in accelerating my GROWTH.

And to my new found ICQ friends, L.E. & Y.Y., thank you for caring and appreciating me. You have given me hope that there are people out there who cares :-)


Post a Comment

<< Home